ticktockman

*daha*

My boy, age 15.

--His tummy wasn't feeling good this morning, but he's missed a lot of school off sick lately so I told him to try and tough it out.

--I was doing grocery shopping when he phoned me this afternoon. He has diarrhea, is spending all his time in the bathroom at school, and doesn't dare try to ride the school bus home. I promise to pick him up when I'm done with my shopping.

--Groceries purchased include a bag of tortilla chips and a package of generic Fig Newtons.

--At the school, he tells me I need to drive as fast as I can, because he doesn't think he can make it. Along the way, he makes sure I know he won't be available to carry in any groceries because he'll be in the bathroom.

--We arrive. He runs into the house. I slowly carry in bags of groceries, put frozen food in the freezer, cold stuff in the fridge, canned goods in the cabinet, you know the drill. He interrupts me to ask if generic Pepto-Bismol will help. I tell him it can't hurt, and pour him out a dose.

--I fire up my computer to catch up with the world. He knocks on my door. "Are you cooking those brats for dinner?" he asks. "I was planning on it, but then I thought you wouldn't be hungry with your stomach all tore up."

--"Oh, I can eat all right. I've been sitting on the toilet eating tortilla chips."

So my son is for sale. I'll start the bidding at a penny per pound.

*daha*

And he's already opened the fig newtons, too.

Стащила картинку у gopnikda

Originally posted by rodich2007 at Дамы и короли от F. EARL CHRISTY

Some people say this is too weird. Some people say it isn't weird enough. I think it is just right.

*daha*

(inspired by today's offer at http://www.wine.woot.com ) Have you ever used a salt slab for cooking or serving food? Is there really such a thing? Is somebody playing a prank?

*daha*

Для того, чтобы пушистый питомец не скучал и чувствовал себя уютно в личном пространстве человеческого жилища, хозяину достаточно лишь проявить немного фантазии.



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Does it even matter what the original was about? I call this a piece of found art, courtesy of trying to translate a paragraph from Russian to English using http://translate.google.com

As gritstsa, tsytata - proletaryata weapons and not to re-collect the designer of the old characters (plus the weekend), I will quote a very elegant design of other clinging to the floors below zero for what is already lined up here before (it is easy to see) and becoming thus Paul -Obviously ™, for which, sobssna we. Life does not end tomorrow, but the vet the thing that seemed to be all-powerful, Suslov Huyuslovy ™ - one day you wake up - are only for new adult crab-bumblebees, which, in turn, had to postpone their yaytsy rolled leaves and leave-on-dick disappear forever from the memory of generations, becoming a new object for every different-Zhen-Galkovskaya ™, unspeakably rejoicing the fact that there were two feet from ONET Himself Shmel empty spaces, he also man-Bloch ™. Well, © mirth as he can.

*daha*