My kid called my cell Saturday night while I was with my girlfriend. "Dad, Duke (our dog) was out playing on the line and he tore one of his nipples off."
Questioning reveals there was no blood, no indications of pain or discomfort, and the dog was acting completely normally. It just seemed to my son that there was a blank raw spot where a nipple belonged.
As it turned out, he was mistaken.
But, gosh, I always wonder what it's going to be about when he calls, and I never would have predicted that one.